Listening Joy!
Thank you for dropping by! Thursdays are Servant Hearts day. Gracious leaders from around the world will guest post to NorthFork’s blog, A Servant’s Heart, sharing their fabulous insights regarding the serving nature of leadership.
Today, I am especially delighted Randall Krause has dropped by to revisit Servant Hearts with love-felt words of wisdom and encouragement. As I have mentioned before, he is such a bright light for me, a beacon that brings me safely to myself. His light, as you are certain to come to know, reflects all that is good about humanity. His great love and tender compassion warm the hearts of many, on Twitter and in real life (IRL).
For those of you who do not know, Randall is the founder of Hym-la, Himalayan Yoga Meditation ~ Los Angeles. Through his life and through his life’s work, Randall helps people live the life that is written in their heart. In so doing, he is quietly changing himself and the world, one heart at a time.
Listening Like Prayer
by Randall Krause
“Listening is like prayer.” These words lit up in my mind. I was attending a training in Effective Communication and Relationship Building by a true master of the art, Selwa Said, in Monterey, California, attended by people, including several psychotherapists, who wanted to learn to communicate more effectively.
Selwa went to lengths emphasizing the importance of listening. Her simile to prayer really spoke to me: Listen with all your being, intent on communion, seeking to fully understand the subtleties of the communication being heard.
So often, too often, listening is superficial. Our minds are distracted, chattering, and ready to prematurely respond rather than being completely focused on what someone is saying. When this happens, only a part of the message is actually heard. Even if we hear the verbal message, we often miss the nonverbal communication expressed by subtle body movements and posture.
Yet the greatest part of communication is expressed non-verbally, and, to really understand the message, the listener has to take all of that in.
Listening not only helps the listener understand what it being said, it also serves the speaker:
Very often, the speaker is only aware of part of the communication herself. Being fully heard allows that speaker to become aware of the fullness of her own communication, both verbal and non-verbal. It also allows the speaker the joy of being heard.
Through deep listening, both speaker and listener are able to deal with the actual issues, rather than with assumptions and projections.
Listening is perhaps the most important aspect of communicating effectively. Listening by both parties to a conversation engenders a sense of really being known, and of being respected.
So often we just talk at one another, without listening. When listening happens, true understanding can dawn, and new creative solutions to problems may emerge.
Listening in this way is key in both personal and business relationships, and is essential for one striving to practice Servant Leadership. Just the act of listening, of deeply hearing and understanding what someone is saying is service. Furthermore, listening enables the Servant Leader to know the needs of the speaker, and to serve better. How can we serve if we don’t listen and, thus, do not know what service is needed?
So, think of listening as a key to communication, settle in, and hear with your whole being. Then communication can really happen.
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 1 comment
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Posted in young & emerging leaders | 8 comments
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 4 comments
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Posted in young & emerging leaders | No comments
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 2 comments
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 7 comments
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 1 comment
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Posted in A Servant's Heart | 3 comments
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June 27, 2010 - 1:11 pm
I found The Servant’s Heart informative and relative. Because I communicate to be heard, I am overcome by frustration by speakers who don’t speak to share but to talk. The Servant’s Heart makes the point between effective listening and worthwhile input. To me it emphasized the importance of one’s ability to sychronize the verbal, body and expressions in establishing credibility while creating interest. Well done!
June 27, 2010 - 2:11 pm
Thank you Felix for the comment. Yes, it is important to speak to share. Listening helps us do that, helps us know whether the message is being received and understood.